Faithfulness

You’ve made the decision to marry the love of your life. It’s an exciting time and one full of fun and excitement. Sure, there’s a little stress with the normal details of the wedding and a learning curve of living together and working together, but otherwise, life is good.

The idea of infidelity seems ridiculous and repugnant. You are in the “Love Bubble” and nothing that abhorrent can touch you now or ever. Yet somehow, nearly all divorces have some sort of infidelity involved in them.

Brent A. Barlow, in his Ensign article of September 1986 titled “They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage”, said:

President Spencer W. Kimball, referring to Doctrine and Covenants 42:22 [D&C 42:22] (“Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else”), said that “the words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.” (Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, p. 250.)

Remembering to keep the marriage in its proper place at the forefront of your life, helps ensure its stability and longevity. When other thoughts start crowding out the place of your spouse, you have begun the process of infidelity. With life so busy and full of good things, it can be easy to miss noticing the first steps towards infidelity.

Does a person wake up one day and decide, “I think I’m going to be unfaithful today”? When infidelity takes place, it is based on a step by step pulling away from the marriage that has spanned considerable time.

These steps include: confiding in another person; spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex; talking online with that person; comparing your spouse’s traits or lack of them with that person.
Kenneth W. Matheson in his Ensign article of September 2009 titled “Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think”, gave a list of questions to ask to evaluate if you are on the slippery slope towards infidelity.

RELATIONSHIP EVALUATION

Successful marriages benefit from honest personal assessment of our relationships - both with our spouses and with others. In evaluating whether you have need for improved spiritual fidelity, ask yourself the following questions.

“Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?” “Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you’re at home?” “Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn’t require you to be together?” “Do you e-mail and text your friend when you’re not together?” “Have you told your spouse about these messages?” “Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?” “Do you compare your spouse to your friend?” “Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?”

 Being faithful in marriage takes concerted work and vigilant care. As we protect and nourish our marriage relationship, we can eliminate the steps that lead toward infidelity.

If you have found yourself already on this path, there is still hope. You can reverse your course and take actions to put your spouse in their proper place. Remember the reasons you decided to marry this person in the first place. Concentrate on their positive qualities.

Kenneth W. Matheson said:

Fasting, prayer, temple attendance, scripture study, and pondering the Lord’s teachings are essential in helping one remain pure and true to one’s spouse and in healing the relationship.

Your marriage is worth the effort and work you put into it. You loved this person enough to make a commitment to them, so now it is time to remain faithful. Your happiness will increase as you nourish the marriage relationship.